Satlarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful zebra.

Satlarg created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satlarg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Satlarg, she will turn you into a frog.

Satlarg's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Satlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never think ill of sick snakes.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never look in ponds.