Begdotjan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, boastful tortoise.

Begdotjan created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Begdotjan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Begdotjan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Begdotjan's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Begdotjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.