Gilcedbestwap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, stupid cat.

Gilcedbestwap created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilcedbestwap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gilcedbestwap, she will turn you into a goat.

Gilcedbestwap's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gilcedbestwap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gilcedbestwap.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not commit murder.