Cisstanhog is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful gerbil.

Cisstanhog created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cisstanhog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cisstanhog, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cisstanhog's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Cisstanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry badgers.

2. Run away from yellow great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help dogs in need.