Vagnutnel is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, passionate unicorn.

Vagnutnel created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vagnutnel, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vagnutnel, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vagnutnel's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vagnutnel's Holy Commandments

1. Vagnutnel must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Never paint your feet turquoise.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagnutnel.

5. Hide if six gulls approach from the west.