Kinvonklinwadnuttyik is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome badger.

Kinvonklinwadnuttyik created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Kinvonklinwadnuttyik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinvonklinwadnuttyik, he will curse you with boils.

Kinvonklinwadnuttyik's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Kinvonklinwadnuttyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Hide if six monkeys approach from the east.

3. Put Kinvonklinwadnuttyik first in all things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.