Fotvablarp is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, annoying toad.

Fotvablarp created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotvablarp, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fotvablarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fotvablarp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fotvablarp's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fotvablarp.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.