Cenjatkipgessig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome snail.

Cenjatkipgessig created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cenjatkipgessig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cenjatkipgessig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cenjatkipgessig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cenjatkipgessig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never hurt dolphins.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.