Gamquatbest is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, fussy frog.

Gamquatbest created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamquatbest, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gamquatbest, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gamquatbest's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gamquatbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Always look after injured aardvarks.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never mention porpoises.