Vonkhabtof is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident shark.

Vonkhabtof created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkhabtof, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonkhabtof, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vonkhabtof's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Vonkhabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.