Barnripvan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, fussy finch.

Barnripvan created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Barnripvan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnripvan, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Barnripvan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Barnripvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Barnripvan.