Sitcetnart is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, compassionate unicorn.

Sitcetnart created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitcetnart, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sitcetnart, he will destroy your home planet.

Sitcetnart's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Sitcetnart's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Hide if eight foxes approach from the south.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.