Stragquatpak is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-confident shark.

Stragquatpak created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragquatpak, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stragquatpak, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stragquatpak's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Stragquatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always obey Stragquatpak's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Do not eat rice.