Barngonbem is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, tranquil lion.

Barngonbem created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Barngonbem, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Barngonbem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Barngonbem's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Barngonbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always obey Barngonbem's priests.

5. Never feed melons to horses while wearing mauve scarves.