Cibhapfeb is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, smart lizard.

Cibhapfeb created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibhapfeb, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cibhapfeb, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cibhapfeb's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cibhapfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never wear green jumpers.