Dumnurtstik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish raccoon.

Dumnurtstik created the Black Eye Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumnurtstik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dumnurtstik, he will strike you with lightening.

Dumnurtstik's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Dumnurtstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Dumnurtstik on top of all buildings.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Dumnurtstik loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.