Hassabdoss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, calm wolf.

Hassabdoss created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hassabdoss, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hassabdoss, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hassabdoss' most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hassabdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never mention shrews.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Never talk about amino acids.