Gesscedhim is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, deceitful porpoise.

Gesscedhim created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesscedhim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gesscedhim, she will laugh at you.

Gesscedhim's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gesscedhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide if nine birds approach from the south.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.