Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing whale.

Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad, he will turn you into a duck.

Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad's Holy Commandments

1. Cumparkfomliglibfetflat Sitvad loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Do not hurt voles.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.