Wipdonfig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless narwhal.

Wipdonfig created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Wipdonfig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wipdonfig, he will turn you into a plant.

Wipdonfig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Wipdonfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet black.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.