Kinlinxen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kinlinxen created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinlinxen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kinlinxen, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kinlinxen's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kinlinxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away from white otters, for they are unholy.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.