Sugspagflow Kopquartkim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, weak toad.

Sugspagflow Kopquartkim created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sugspagflow Kopquartkim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sugspagflow Kopquartkim, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sugspagflow Kopquartkim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sugspagflow Kopquartkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hide if six turtles approach from the west.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

5. Always help sick mites.