Fadyarppak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless squid.

Fadyarppak created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fadyarppak, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fadyarppak, it will turn you into a plant.

Fadyarppak's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Fadyarppak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.