Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, capable dove.

Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip, she will turn you into a slug.

Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect four silver sculptures of Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip on top of important buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fumhabstandag Jabgamwip.