Lakmiploop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, intelligent skunk.

Lakmiploop created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Lakmiploop, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lakmiploop, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Lakmiploop's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Lakmiploop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lakmiploop.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always stare at clouds.