Fednuttarp Cumbatcuncud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate crane.

Fednuttarp Cumbatcuncud created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Fednuttarp Cumbatcuncud, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fednuttarp Cumbatcuncud, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fednuttarp Cumbatcuncud's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fednuttarp Cumbatcuncud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never feed apples to capybaras while wearing mauve kilts.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.