Vondambell is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, intelligent horse.

Vondambell created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vondambell, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vondambell, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Vondambell's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Vondambell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed carrots to monkeys while wearing orange boots.

4. Never run near pigs.

5. Do not chop down trees.