Wapfarnanpig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental faun.

Wapfarnanpig created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapfarnanpig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wapfarnanpig, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Wapfarnanpig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wapfarnanpig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide from orange porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.