Tamhonstik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody capybara.

Tamhonstik created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamhonstik, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tamhonstik, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tamhonstik's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tamhonstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.