Teentenxem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, loving naga.

Teentenxem created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teentenxem, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Teentenxem, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Teentenxem's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Teentenxem's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teentenxem.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.