Sakjabfen is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, dishonourable lizard.

Sakjabfen created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakjabfen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sakjabfen, she will turn you into a tree.

Sakjabfen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Sakjabfen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about gravity.