Nurbopnan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tranquil coyote.

Nurbopnan created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurbopnan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurbopnan, he will torture you forever.

Nurbopnan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Nurbopnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention manatees.

5. Never paint your hands fawn.