Yonmitleg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, calm gnu.

Yonmitleg created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yonmitleg, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yonmitleg, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yonmitleg's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yonmitleg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Yonmitleg loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.