Zasszobdam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind fairy.

Zasszobdam created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zasszobdam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zasszobdam, she will turn you into a duck.

Zasszobdam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zasszobdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.