Gunfenbiss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, confident donkey.

Gunfenbiss created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunfenbiss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gunfenbiss, she will turn you into a plant.

Gunfenbiss' most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gunfenbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Gunfenbiss loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide from magenta dogs for they are unholy.