Hapbudben is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, stupid dove.

Hapbudben created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbudben, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hapbudben, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hapbudben's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Hapbudben's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapbudben.

5. Run away if seven mites approach from the south.