Bapfabdit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful pig.

Bapfabdit created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapfabdit, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bapfabdit, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bapfabdit's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bapfabdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Worship no other gods but Bapfabdit.

4. Never sit in the presence of rats.

5. Never eat bark.