Yartfligzim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, effective fish.

Yartfligzim created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartfligzim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yartfligzim, he will turn you into a rock.

Yartfligzim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Yartfligzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yartfligzim.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Never look in ponds.