Hapyatdampan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing monkey.

Hapyatdampan created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapyatdampan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hapyatdampan, she will not care.

Hapyatdampan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hapyatdampan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.