Bigfetbunzogwat is a god.

She takes the form of a small, confident hippopotamus.

Bigfetbunzogwat created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigfetbunzogwat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bigfetbunzogwat, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bigfetbunzogwat's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bigfetbunzogwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.