Quaffebwip is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, pitiless monkey.

Quaffebwip created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quaffebwip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quaffebwip, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Quaffebwip's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Quaffebwip's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sheep.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never wear magenta jumpers.

5. Never pour water over plants.