Likartkad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty pig.

Likartkad created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likartkad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Likartkad, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Likartkad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Likartkad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Likartkad loves doves, so they must be honoured.