Nibkantab Quartnurtjig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish dolphin.

Nibkantab Quartnurtjig created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibkantab Quartnurtjig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nibkantab Quartnurtjig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nibkantab Quartnurtjig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Nibkantab Quartnurtjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet cyan.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Do not take Nibkantab Quartnurtjig's name in vain.

5. Never look in ponds.