Flapdossmat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-knowing chinchilla.

Flapdossmat created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapdossmat, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flapdossmat, it will turn you into a snail.

Flapdossmat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Flapdossmat's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never look in ponds.