Henfidlatcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong dryad.

Henfidlatcuss created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Henfidlatcuss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Henfidlatcuss, he will laugh at you.

Henfidlatcuss' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Henfidlatcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of badgers.

2. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never look in ponds.