Gubcubgup is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, able turtle.

Gubcubgup created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubcubgup, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gubcubgup, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gubcubgup's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gubcubgup's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubcubgup.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Never eat coconuts.