Lagbodfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable pig.

Lagbodfum created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagbodfum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lagbodfum, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Lagbodfum's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Lagbodfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look after injured mites.