Larnfomtof is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, impressive jackal.

Larnfomtof created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnfomtof, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larnfomtof, she will turn you into a slug.

Larnfomtof's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Larnfomtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about turtles.