Dunsatxem is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-assured parrot.

Dunsatxem created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dunsatxem, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dunsatxem, she will turn you into a dog.

Dunsatxem's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dunsatxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always obey Dunsatxem's priests.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always pray immersed in water.