Tiparmnart is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unjust cobra.

Tiparmnart created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiparmnart, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tiparmnart, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tiparmnart's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tiparmnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. You must love Tiparmnart.

5. Tiparmnart must be the most important thing in your life.